I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
