i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
