this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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