no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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