Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
