Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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