"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
