filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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