I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize