She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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