Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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