Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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