so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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