Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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