i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You ruined the universe
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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