whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
