I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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