the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
