i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize