she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
