My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
