do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
