i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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