No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
