I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
