I seem to have left my pride at pride
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
