do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
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I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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