I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
