Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
