I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
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i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
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holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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