If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
