I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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