My brain says no but my pants say off.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
