is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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