I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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