dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize