on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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