bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
