Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
