Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
