We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
