Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
