so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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