do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
