youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize