It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
