So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
