Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
