So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
