I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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