Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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