In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I've blown a few things in my day
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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