ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
