I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
