Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
