Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
