bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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