I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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