It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize