my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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