how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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