Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
