So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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